Hoping against hope & learning some.
“You start writing the next one. And after you finish that one, you start the next. And on and on, and that’s what it is to be a writer…You just keep throwing them against the wall and hoping against hope that eventually something sticks.” — Tick, tick..Boom!
I have been meaning to write weekly this year but I always shrug the thought away even when I know I needed to do it the most. It is only now that I have decided to do so again as I cannot dismiss it anymore. I have to write, I have to clear my head.
I was thrown out into the fire early on the first month of 2023. The small renovation project I started last December with Taller Rámgo (which I thought was the easiest thing) exposed me to vulnerabilities I never knew would matter in this line of business and showed me ugly facets about people you work with.
I accepted the renovation project last December because it did not require a lot of work — we are only to build an additional room finished bare and renovate the fencing and the parking gate of the property. That was the agreed scope of work with the client and the timeline supposedly to last by only a month. It ended up not being the case as the client kept adding work as we progress. It was okay at first but eventually caused me great distress because of all the additional repairs and the revisions they keep requesting to the work we have already done because they changed their mind. I don’t know how to handle indecisive people. The decisions they are not making, and the ones that they can’t commit to, cost extra time of the people who are doing the manual labour and in turn burn more money.
The situation led me to hurriedly hire a painter I haven’t had experience working with yet in order to expedite the additional painting deliverable for the project. Due to my fears, I dismissed to even take a second look at my other options for the job. I’ve been honest to the painter about the status of the work to be done and I that I am desperate to get it done. I was hoping he would be nice enough to understand and help me to the best that he can do. It is my personal choice to always see first the good in people and to believe that they will come through until otherwise. In this case though, unfortunately the painter did not come through. The worst part about it was that he left the project unfinished, some parts ruined, and still having paid more than he should. This left me devastated on top of being distressed.
How do I steer this to the right direction? I can’t run away. It’s not a choice for me. I was immobilised again, a lot of fears surfacing and many personal struggles rising. There were more crying. I don’t know how to ask for help and who for that matter. I’ve always fared through life on my own thus far without much help, but this time around I know for sure, I can’t get past through this on my own.
Within all of it though, I had a moment of appreciation for the struggle. It is very much new. The fears that surfaced are way different in shape, form, and magnitude, from those that haunt me the past years. The crying became more of an advantage like a trampoline that propels me to bounce back faster than before. The struggles albeit heavier weren’t any different fundamentally from those that I manage to conquer. After running around in the same circle for a long while, I am now moving forward in a different path. The situation is not ideal, but I recognise that the phase I was in was necessary for future me.
I did manage to turn things around and get the construction back on track. Based from the experience, my views and beliefs had to be re-adjusted or reinforced moving forward in the AEC line of business. Here are some of it:
(1) When dealing with clients — indecisive or not, a friend, a family, or whoever, stick to the technicality of the contract and the work. My professor in Architectural Practice class introduced me to this rule when I was in college. It struck me when I first hear of as it makes perfect sense. I never forgot it ever since and now I had the chance to apply it in my own practice. Emotions, preferences, and wants of people change over time and in the AEC industry, revisions that comes along with it cost resources, time, and money. Revisions can’t be free or else you’ll end up dipping in your own pockets until there’s none. Being mindful and knowledgeable of the technical things of the contract and the work helped me. You can always go back to what has been written down and work your problems from there.
(2) When dealing with labour men and coworkers — doubt them, until they have proven themselves through great work. Action always speak louder than a running mouth. Never can words erect a house, can it? In addition, doubting labour men and coworkers does not mean you are unkind. The work relationship setting is always transactional no matter how much people sugarcoat it with endearing terms. In this industry, it stands that money is king, good faith means nothing.
(3) It is never true that you work alone. There will always be people who have your best interest in their hearts. There will always be someone ready to help, you just have to look and to ask. I have two people to thank for this time — one, my uncle who never second-guessed my call for help and delivered on the same day, and two, my foreman who called me out for the wrong decisions I had made and guided me through working things out.
I’ve lost some but I learned more, either way I’ll charge the difference up to experience.
