“Most people overestimate what can be done in a year and underestimate what they can achieve in ten years.”
I have to remind myself once again of this adage. I am at a phase in this continuum of life wherein I am braving new corners and avenues that only a select few people in this planet dare themselves to be in. I have finally quit my job last August in the design and construction firm I have worked at for the past four years and have since decided to build the foundations for Taller Rámgo, my very own design studio and probably the object of my undivided attention for the next twenty years. The decision came easy for me. I’ve tortured myself enough during my undergraduate days in contemplating, envisioning, and truly asking my core self if I am willing to spend most of my life as an architect. In all levels of my being, I decided I would.
Fast forward to now, I have four projects lined up — a cafe, two residential houses, and a townhouse. In addition to that I have been working with a manufacturer for ADU designs in California. In all honesty, I was shocked at the influx of projects right after I had quit my office job. I remember being all scared, seeking comfort and advice from two of my artist friends regarding the position I was in. The uncertainty of threading a path of my own without a mentor nor any financial support scared me. Who wouldn’t be? The fear was momentary yet it immobilized me for days. Behind it a plethora of social and filial considerations I fail to take into account. The fear however was far outweighed by the thought of regret I will feel (for not pushing my dreams, and not doing everything I can) in the years to come. I’d rather die than find myself in the future sitting in a table one morning, with a cup of three-in-one coffee in my hand, looking far out, tracing back all the decisions I have made and thinking where I could have fought my fears and could have taken a turn towards my dreams. I never liked those words— the could have’s, would have’s and should have’s — it sends a jolt of pain in my back running down my spine. All that said, I am still here, defying the odds, playing the cards I am dealt with, working my way to make Taller Ramgo an internationally-recognized design firm.
I do understand the position I am in. I am still a neophyte right now, not even making a dent in the AEC industry. On the one hand, I have stepped into new heights. I am not in the same place anymore. I have only worked full time for Taller Ramgo in the past three months and I can say that I have made leaps of progress. There were many good things and possibilities in such a short time, it made me feel nothing wrong is gonna come my way. Of course, that is far from the truth. For me — life is struggle and suffering, the good things that come out of it are just bonuses. I enjoy these bonuses to the fullest and make my struggle and suffering worth my while.
Working on Taller Ramgo thus far has opened me up for new problems and dilemmas but particularly lessons that are definitely vital for my own. In my relationship with money for example — I have earned more than I could spend in a month and I am working on multiple projects. The feeling of financially secure was alien to me and for a moment I tasted it. It is nice to be able to earn more as I am able to give to others but I have realized that it is dangerous to indulge in feeling rich more so pinning your happiness on it. As I look at the numbers in my bank account fluctuate, so does my mood, my emotion, and my peace of mind. It is not healthy for me to move on with my life having that system. The way I face rejection has also changed. Way back in college, that was the worst that could happen to me. Right now I see it as a measure of progress. I would probably be rejected a hundred times more but that is okay, you do not die from it. Recently, one of my high profile projects got cancelled. I was really positive about it because I have already signed a non-disclosure agreement with them. We were supposed to meet for the project brief already until it got flagged due to contract restrictions. It’s good as cancelled. I wasn’t prepared for the surge of emotions that came after. It immobilized me again but this time I bounced back from it faster. I am thrilled at myself because of the emotional response and the newfound outlook I now have.
There is still so much to create and so much to do and I am happy to be in my position right now. I will indulge in the adventure and freedom that comes with taking the path less travelled for now.
